EGO

A person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance

Having a healthy ego is not bad. In fact, it is necessary for being a human. It’s what holds your identity and story together. But our ego is not who we are. It is the role we are playing, our social mask. Life works well if we, the soul, are in control and simply use our ego (personality) as needed, in a constructive and positive manner.

We see cases of people with low self esteem. However, here we are addressing the other end of the scale – a high self esteem or self importance. Everyone is unique in their own way and when this uniqueness is heightened, perceived as being better, it becomes an inflated ego. An inflated ego concentrates your individuality to a level where you feel you are superior to others. Ego can break down relationships and start wars. It thrives on approval  and power.  Thos factors may not always be apparent, but they are there.

To give ourselves the best chance of a living in harmony in the flow, we need to be intuitive and ensure ego is not controlling our life. As we are aware, we won’t be very happy with ourselves if we get to the end of this incarnation and find we have to start again to learn how to live in the flow and not in our ego.

First off, a key point to note is the ego denies the existence of the ego. So, it’s quite automatic to assume it doesn’t apply to us. If we have a fixed idea that an inflated ego doesn’t apply in our case, we’ve lost at the starting gate. Friends and family are often able to tell us where we are in relation to ego, but we so rarely ask them. Especially if we’re convinced our way is the right way.

When we refuse to acknowledge the extent to which our ego is running our lives, we fail to really grow or find deep inner peace in life. It takes humility, openness and radical honesty to get to a point where you can say my ego is in control. Admitting this is a direct gift from the soul and offers us a chance at true love of soul. Feeling satisfied, fulfilled, happy and complete within ourselves can prevent the ego driving us toward achieving that. A huge ego is easily offended. Practicing tolerance and contentment can help stop “being offended.”

To help overcome an inflated ego, test and contemplate on the following-

It is OK to be wrong

I don’t have to always be right

Being wrong does not make me less of a person

People are respected who can comfortably and easily say they were wrong.

Humility is a noble spiritual quality

As an idea, being wrong is of no more significance than being right

I have won over my ego and have no qualms about saying I got it wrong

I have gone beyond having to be right

I am not my ego – it’s safe to be me

I release any idea people will think less of me if I admit to being wrong

I release the idea that if I show I can be wrong, people may trust me and my opinions less.

What is the core reason I can’t easily say I was wrong?

Do I accept criticism easily

Do I think I have the answers

Do I think I have more personal experience of life than others

Do I think I know more than most

Do I think I know because I read what others have said

Do I have to make sure everyone hears my opinions

Do I assume people don’t know what I know

Do I think my views are the truth

Do I think I am more knowledgeable than most

Do I believe it’s OK to make people listen because they need to hear it

Am I interested in hearing other’s views

Do I regularly re-examine my own views

How long is it since I really listened to others

Do I assume others want to listen to me

Do I dominate conversations

Do I feel compelled to inform others

Do I overwhelm others

Do I speak gently, quietly and encouragingly

Is my conversation mainly one-sided

Do I encourage others views

Do I think I know best

Do I force my views on others

Do I make it easy for people to walk away

Do I think my views are more informed than others

Do I assume others are ill informed

Do I think people are fortunate I am able to inform them

Do people seek me out as being pleasant and easy company

How many friends do I have

Do I avoid confronting issues by using humour

Am I convinced of my communication skills

Do I ever really listen to anyone

After conversing, have I established a useful understanding of that person

Do I ever have to clarify what I meant

Do I first establish what is real and acceptable to people I speak to

Do I ever ask others how they perceive me

Do I check if someone really wants to know or is listening to be polite

Do I use forceful communication

Do I pin people down to talk to them

Do people feel they can comfortably and easily leave at any point

How often do I observe silence as the greater wisdom

Do I take into account other people’s education level

Do I take into account others understanding of the language

Do I make sure I don’t use local slang words

Do I think the work I do is more important than most

Do I think I am special

Love and blessings,

Sandy Stevenson